Mindful communication using positive "I language"—something we've learned and practiced—might feel unfamiliar to many at first. In that case, I encourage you to use a principle that I believe will help: "Nothing is permanently difficult; it's simply something that some people may not be familiar with yet."

Using "I language" to express feelings without attacking the other person is called "I Message." This involves stating your thoughts and feelings; for example, instead of saying "Your presentation was incomprehensible" (which is a criticism), say "I didn't understand" (expressing your thoughts and feelings). Furthermore, if you need to comment on the content, behavior, or actions of another person, criticize only the content or action itself, not their character. For instance, instead of saying "You are irresponsible," say "I dislike it when someone makes promises and doesn't keep them." ... Separate your intention from your method.

Problematic communication often stems from well-intentioned actions but inappropriate communication methods. People who misuse this approach tend to think, "I'm sincere, straightforward, and don't like flattery; I say what I think." This leads to conflict. Good communication allows the listener to easily "receive" the message, much like bitter medicine being encapsulated for easier consumption. Communication needs to be "chocolate-coated" – starting with a positive message. For example, instead of saying, "Didn't you hear what time we agreed on yesterday? Is your watch broken?" if a friend is late, start with, "I understand your house is far away." Crucially, it's essential to adjust your mindset. Understanding "rights and responsibilities" is crucial. We have the "right" to express our opinions without being aggressive or causing harm. Exercising this right means we have a duty to respect the decisions of those in authority. If the decision doesn't align with our expectations, we must comply. Always remember to make communication two-way. Ideally, good communication balances speaking and listening. Being the only one speaking without listening is detrimental, while being the only listener without expressing opinions is also not. Listen fully, then begin by reflecting back. This ensures you understand the correct meaning and lets the speaker know you've heard and understood the message. Only then should you respond with your own feelings and opinions. This approach makes conversations more engaging and fosters better relationships. Remember, mindful conversation is key. I hope you'll keep this in mind.